Dear Mary – Please Don’t Get Married Out Of Pity – Karo Oforofuo (@KaroOforofuo)


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She Made The First Move, He Got Her Pregnant, now He Wants To Marry Her Out Of Pity

I came across this headline on homepage this morning. On a normal day, I wouldn’t read through. But I just had to because in a way, what happened to this dear lady would have happened to me. Thank God for self restraint.
She loved the guy and opened up to him. But he told her he was already in a relationship. — There. At this point, she should have backed off. But she wanted him at all cost.

She got manipulative by mixing with other men in the office. The idea was to get the man of her interest jealous. She succeeded. Then she made him choose – her or his girl? He chose her, saying afterall, his girl is far away and only has OND – excuse. He only told her what she wanted to hear.

In my case, the girl had traveled abroad and for six years, they had not communicated. They lost contact. But he still wanted to believe they could continue from where they stopped.

Now, me aside. Let us face the dear lady above, who I will call Mary. Mary’s own case is sad because after the man chose her, they moved in together and she soon got pregnant. He asked for abortion. Sad. Which proves, he chose her for fun. He agreed to move in with her for fun. Now he feels trapped. He gets irritated and abusive(verbally) at every slight opportunity. He doesn’t care about her or the baby. He has made it clear he is only marrying her out of pity and to save her face. The marriage has been fixed for December.

With all I read in her post, I am 100% sure that man will turn abusive(physical) after the marriage. She will never be happy. Why then are plans for the marriage still on going?

Biko. Dear Mary. You’ve made the mistake of getting prego for a guy who never loved you. His plan was to use you. Don’t make another mistake by marrying him. There should be no rush to bear Mrs. Be independent. Good thing you have a job. Start saving for you and your unborn baby. If after delivery he comes back to his senses and wants you back sincerely, then by all means, go for it. Your child has the right to a happy family, not a sad one full of abuse and negative drama.

To my ladies out there, let someone’s experience be your teacher. If you love him, give the greenlight. If he says he is already hooked, biko, take off. Forget about him. Don’t say you can’t. You can. The experience that comes with such situation is always terrible. I know and Mary knows.
Good morning.